If you're tired, you take a napa.

Hunter Valley vs. Napa Valley

Accessibility - It takes about 2 hours to drive from Sydney to Hunter Valley and 1.5 hours to drive from San Jose to Napa. If you leave from San Francisco, it takes even less. So considering Napa's proximity to a major metropolitan area and I get to drive on the right side of the road to get there, this one goes to Napa.

People you meet - Steve and his technicolor jacket dominate this category. Napa Valley wineries, especially the big ones, employ people who can only be describe as snooty. They were also kinda lame. If I'm drunk and bored, we have a problem. In addition, my mother and I were accosted by a crackhead in Napa. One point, Hunter.

Price - Hunter Valley is free, they just hope that you buy wine. Napa Valley, on the other hand, charges 5-30 dollars to taste, and they still give you a dirty look if you don't buy anything. They also charge for "tours" of the winery. Seriously? Gary and Steve showed us their wine cellars for free. Hunter 2, Napa 1.

Food - In addition to being over the top, Napa knows how to cater to tourism. This includes overpriced restaurants and shops. With the abundance of cheese shops and entire stores devoted to olive oil, I might have to give this one to Napa. However, Hunter is home to this gelato shop:

I'm going to have to call this one a draw.

Wine: Wine is wine. Plus one for both valleys.

So let's recap, wine is good, technicolor jackets are good, Hunter Valley > Napa Valley, and gelato is Australian for delicious ice cream. Best Napa Winery is a tie between Castello di Amorosa for the awesome castle and Silverado Vineyards, where the lady was nice, the wine was good and the view was breathtaking. Now I have one week to drink the 8 bottles of wine that I bought before I leave for New York.

Gnocchi

JetStar: You can travel around Australia on Jetsaver Light tickets for about 35 US dollars a trip. You don't get to check in any luggage and it's $80 if you do. They do not feed you or give you water. Tent pegs cannot be carried onto the aircraft as they can be used as a weapon. They do not check ID, they barely even check tickets. Liquids of any size can be carried on.

Byron Bay

Cape Byron: Typical Australian beach town and home of Australia's most easterly point. There's a cool lighthouse, good food and really annoying Aussie teenagers.

The Arts Factory: Canadian chick at reception thinks she's cooler than she really is. I didn't know it was possible for someone to be nice and bitchy simultaneously. This place is hippee haven. Their cafe food is reasonably priced and kicks ass. The first 3 rows at the cinema are cow print lounge couches where you get to lie down with a teddy bear to watch the one movie they play once a night. The shuttle drops off in front of Noodle Box and picks up in front of the train tracks.

Gold Coast

Surfers Paradise: Looks just like mainstream America with too many chain restaurants and high-rise hotels. Everything closes at 5:30pm so if you plan on eating dinner, go early.

Aquarius: British chick at reception needs longer shirts. Can't understand a word she says. They advertise a $2 breakfast deal, but you have to tell them the night before so they can actually go and buy toast.

Dreamworld: Rollercoasters make me vomit.

White Water World: Best water park ever, but only because I was the only one there. There were more employees than there were park goers. Take the theme park express bus from Gold Coast to any of the 4 parks for only 6 Australian dollars. No need for a shuttle if you want to save a couple dollars.

Rainbow Beach

Debbie's place is a steal. Quality room for a good price, but you have to stay two consecutive nights or there's a 20 dollar cleaning fee. Debbie herself is a crazy lady who drives like a maniac. She will take you to the beach or drop you off at the sandblow, but be prepared to jump and roll because she will not stop the car. Fantastic stretch of beach with colorful sand, but watch out for the 4WD vehicles.

Fraser Island

Tours to Fraser Island leave from Rainbow Beach or Hervey Bay. The Eurong Beach Resort serves a lot of cold pasta and cold rosemary chicken. The rooms look like hospitals in third world countries. Watch out for dingos and even more 4WD Toyotas. Largest sand island in the world with a cool shipwreck that's a huge tourist attraction.

Noosa

Noosa is the La Jolla Village of Australia. Fancy restaurants, old rich couples in perfectly tailored white pants, and a Sheraton hotel. Turkey looking fowls run rampant and a river runs through it. If you are on a budget, but require to stay on Hastings St., see John and Mary at the Noosa Village Motel. Pumpkin gnocchi is delicious.

Greg sings in the shower.

Because I haven't seen the Opera House from every angle imaginable, this is what it looks like from the Harbour Bridge. My computer likes to red underline the word Harbour. It wants me to write HarBOR. I spend the night looking for ledges in order to take long exposure shots, so is the story of my life. Trying to hold your hand perfectly still for 3.5 seconds is harder than it sounds.

From Milson's point, you can look back at South Sydney (Glory Glory to it). This skyline is not quite as iconic as New York City, but I think it's way more colorful (colOURful).

And this brings us to Luna Park, located at Milson's Point. For 25 dollars you can get unlimited rides after 5pm on Friday nights. Apparently, every annoying, bratty teenager in Sydney also got this memo. Since I don't get off of work until 7pm on Fridays, this gives me (and my boyfriend) only 2 hours to fight past 16 year-old Australians and make the most of Friday Night Lunacy.

Barrels of Fun = not fun. Possibly the scariest ride at Luna Park/Coney Island and it's not even a ride. Since I tend to fall walking on flat ground, I should've known better. I did fine until the second barrel, where it changed directions. My brain does not work fast enough to adapt to this change. Never have I felt more like a hamster.

Gigantic Slides = fun. I used to love these things as a kid. It's the one where you sit with your feet in those potato sacks and the guy at the top is supposed push you when it's your turn to go. This guy did not push. I sat, I waited, turned and looked at him, and then scooted my bum onto the slide.

Devil's Drop Giant Slide = steeper version of Gigantic Slide.

Wild Mouse = omg, I am going to fall off. This is where you go if you want a picture of you on a roller coaster with the Harbour Bridge in the background.

Dodgem City = bumper cars are classic.

Ranger = upside down pirate ship ride. I'm really glad I skipped lunch that day.

Ferris Wheel = another classic.

Carousel = mostly horses, but every carousel throws in the random animal. This particular one had a couple turkeys.