el fin.

I think my blogging days are over. I have run out of creativity.

Ode to the Sunnyside Cinema

In the heart of Sunnyside, Queens, right off Queens Blvd. there lies a hole-in-the-wall rundown theater where I find myself many nights... and days. This bargain theater shows new releases, with a weekly midnight premiere. For 5 dollars, yes FIVE dollars, you can watch yourself a new movie. Kids, adults, senior citizens, students, they don't discriminate. Just five bucks will get you in before 5pm, any day of the week, except on Tuesdays, where its 5 dollars all day.

Photo: Aaron Landry

Now you must be wondering how they manage to stay in business offering such low low prices while other theaters are charging 12, 14, even 16 dollars for a movie. Well, here are some tips from the Sunnyside cinema on how to cut down costs to save YOU, the consumer, some much needed dinero.

1. Hire one person to run the ticket stand, concession stand, make popcorn, set up the movie reels, and check tickets.
2. Don't train this individual on how to make popcorn or project the film onto the screen. (Its ok, no one will notice stale or unpopped popcorn, flat soda, melted icees, or a crooked screen with these prices.)
3. Pay this person minimum wage. Under the table.
4. Don't hire a janitor, the theater will clean itself.
5. Out of signage? Just write the name of the movie on copier paper with a pen and tape onto the door.
6. Cash only. (No credit card fees. Wooo!)
7. Never remodel. Ever.

This still doesn't answer how they stay in business with only 2 patrons per showing...

Girl vs. Wild: Urban Survival

Things you should know about visiting/living a New York winter:

1. Urban city snow is very different from mountainous ski resort snow. Urban city snow is a mixture of ice, grime, dirt, dog poo, and more often than not, homeless people urine. You are not advised to play in it, walk on it, drive on it, or build a bat cave.
   
2. Don't let the sunshine fool you. When I lived in Pacific Beach, I never watched the weather channel or looked up the weekly forecast. All I had to do was look out my second floor window and see if the sun was peeking over the buildings. Sun = warm. No sun = wear a hoodie. In New York City, your best bet is to go out onto your fire escape. This is because 1: knowing the temperature will do you no good if you do not know the wind chill, and 2: since you cannot see air and there are no trees, you cannot gauge the ferocity of the wind. Of course, the wind chill temperature and the speed and direction of the wind can be looked up online, but can you really conceptualize 5 degree, SW winds at 18mph? I didn't think so.
3. Scarves are not an accessory, it is a necessity. It no longer matters whether my earmuffs or mittens look "cute" or match. They prevent frostbite.
   
4. Do NOT under any circumstances, wear good shoes. I still have salt stains on my Frye boots that I have tried to remove with vinegar, cover with brown shoe polish, and shine with oil.
5. Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. Despite the fact that it is snowing and/or raining, the air is very dry. I get 3 month long dry skin patches that eventually turn into dry skin rashes. Not cool.

Diane: What does falling snow look like?
Me: Grated Parmesan cheese.
Diane: So they don't look like flakes?
Me: No, not unless you have a microscope.